Stop Criticizing Yourself!

 

We all seem to have that critical voice, parental chat in our head that chides us when we don't do things perfectly. I feel part of this transition is to let this go as it is no longer serving our humanity. The conscience is one thing, an instinctual guidance system,  recognizing our inner ideal to be good and kind. We are human and some days we are just are not. It is ok. But to go on and on is ridiculous. Wasted mental, emotional chatter that drains our physical energy. 

This morning I got up early to go to a 7:30 networking meeting that was 25 minutes away. I got beautified and went on my way. I only hit the street address, not the whole address and followed my gps. It took me to the wrong town but right street. I landed at an empty parking lot and thought "Are you kidding me? "As I figured the mistake I made, put in the right address, I was another 25 minutes away so I called it a wash and went home. 

After that moment of REALLY? I giggled at myself. How many times have you been at the wrong place at the right time?  We can be so on and then so off in a moments notice. Going where we desire only to find out something was missing and we are not there yet. I just giggled at the calamity of myself. It is so Lyn in many ways. I believe in divine perfection so I considered it was to be experienced. It is Virgo season when details matter so I got the memo.

I listen to a lot of people chat. Coaching, friends and bystanders that tell a story and they are critical of themselves in it. I get we need to see where the wisdom is in a situation to learn. But once you realize that, you have to let it go. Life is moving forward whether our mind criticizes us or praises us. The next thing is there and useless time beating yourself up for a miss step is down right unhealthy and unhelpful. 

Be kind and gentle. We are all moving in an odd world, watching things we trusted come apart on a large scale. It affects us. We are wobbly too. Even if the world was all honky dory, we don't need to waste time being mean to ourselves.  Do you spend too much time in the past chattering losses, failures, mistakes? Do you tell tales of challenge and hardship in that whining tone to yourself and others? Do you think over analyzing a situation will bring you comfort and inspiration? It won't. Let it go and keep moving.

The other energy waste is criticizing others. Who has time to do that? If you are creating a life of all the things you want, sifting through experiences and looking for the nectar of goodness in them, there is no time to take others inventory. That is what we call it and you will get that energy back. Most people who criticize others are even worse to themselves. These are unhealthy, non moving actions that side track us. Let us redirect to more productive actions. 

I recently flipped out on someone in the most angry way. I was kind of shocked and very disappointed in my behavior. I forgave myself for losing it. I was up the the eyeballs filled with resistance at what was occurring and it came out straight with no fluff. It is ok. It is how the energy flows sometimes. It took a bit to get over my voice of criticsm but I did. Again, things happen are they do and I just consider what if that was the perfect response. It happened and it is done. I keep going forward. 

Really take a moment at this juncture when the critical voice is in everything and find a more compassionate response. Yea we were trained in this but once we bring awareness to how unproductive it is, let us just let it go. Oh well, you did "wrong" or were bad or failed. We learn this way. The new paradigm doesn't have an ocd over perfection vibe. We accept ourselves as learners until we die. That allows for failed tests and bad marks on the whole journey. 

Be your own best friend. Find a way to really live in that energy. Not pretending but really feel in awe of yourself and cultivating that confident, postive voice that is your friendly mentor. We reach to our friends in hard times and they only reflect that we are good in our heart, to try another way, to be gentle and giggle at ourselves. They talk us out of this useless self criticism loop. 

It really is all ok. When we relax, remind ourselves we are good in our hearts, we don't always react with our highest self in charge but we forgive it, forget it as quick as we can so we can  start skipping again down our trail to the next experience!

There is a song I share with my nieces about being a loser by Beck. It makes it all funny! Check it out!

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