The Winds of Transition

Transition at any point in life is full of uncertainty. It is never very comfortable because there is no familiarity. It is like the caterpillar shifting to the butterfly. Often struggling with all its might to get out of the cocoon, only to find it is in completely different form than crawling the earth. For me this last 3 years has very much been that process.

As I am in the lovely land of Colorado, surrounded by mountains, it came upon me, this epiphany of my transition. High up on the situation, away from my daily details, suddenly the length of time, the slow pace of it, the seemingly forever solution to the other side, had great importance.

Most of this three year period has been a great time of reflection. Reviewing all that has occurred, digesting it so to speak. I imagine the cocoon stage of the caterpillar is like being cozy and watching the movie of life. Seeing the things to keep, the things to let go. What to rework in, how to recategorize what you want forward, letting go of the things that are not part of next stage.

This time can't really be sped up although we would like it to be. It's uncomfortable going through this review. It seems like slow motion. If feels like you are not moving. As though more should be done to move forward, more action, more activities. But today, I realized, how could all that doing be done when you are restructuring yourself so? Transition is about moving from one to another. As the caterpillar, there are many parts to be left behind and much to build while being in the cocoon. The rest, the cocoon so very important to the transition.

My mind could of told you this. I knew it all sounded right, but the rest of me wanted to get going, get creating, get to the doing. It has been a challenge to know fully with all of me that this  slow pace
is very purposeful and necessary. Today it all made sense. I thought of how much review, how much letting go had to occur of the last stage. The caterpillar such a good analogy. So much of his body shifts. Often in transition, this is what is happening, the letting go, the releasing.

For me it has been layers of that. I am not changing something that I was or did for a few years. I am changing what I was doing for the last 22 years. So the time, the let go, the rework is quite a review and shift. 3 years for the first time sounded not long at all. Letting go of a life was one thing but then all the intermixed pieces, beliefs, ways of being and doing, possessions and lifestyle, goals and direction, whew, that is a much to sift through.

Deep and intertwined it all is as well. Each section I cleared through had many extensions and crossovers. It was like the can of worms or a spider web woven intricately. Each part of my life so connected to people, beliefs, actions and ideas. Untangling the knot, knowing what is to be kept and what is to be let go.

As I have been at it for quite sometime, I realized today, of course I have been. Letting go of so much of where I have been to allow space for where I am going. As though the container so filled with things needed to be cleaned and condensed down. Put in new organized places, shifted views, other ways to look at it all needed time to come forward. Just getting out of the blinders we have about our lives, our direction, our ideals is a process. I had to let go of many things to allow the wider view, an expansive way to look appear.

Today, I sat high on a ridge with my daughters Environmental Art class at their last field trip, observing the brilliant professor ask a culminating question. "How will this experience of these environmental issue trips impact your art, your being and your lifestyle?" To hear each student answer with their truth so inspired my heart. A long time green girl, holding the space for this moment when youth would see that they impact the world through their experience and art. I knew I was exactly where I belonged in that moment, not behind or ahead.

Wind blowing so gently with this expansive view, the Professor read a most powerful poem to end of the Iroquois Indians called Thanksgiving. As a group we communed realizing our world, our earth, our impact and power is present in the harmonious whole. It was delicious and made me realize, my transition is perfect. It gave me a piece of the future I need to create. Being about like minded educators, inspiring youth, places where these changes I was dedicated so long ago too have helped and will move forward with this next generation.

I feel perfect where I am. I had to let so much go of before to get to this moment and be open to breath in a new life. I know it all is purposeful beyond what my mind can conjure. The impatience has left and a piece of what is to be next became clearer in that moment upon that mountain. Still in the winds of transition but knowing the timing is perfect as I hike on to new horizons.

Know thyself, Heal thyself

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Lyn Hicks, Health and Beauty Mentor